This life of being a mom, especially one who stays home, can become mundane if we let it. It’s work to find the joy in the everyday. A friend of mine posted the following excerpt on our community forum:

From the chapter “Monasticism and the Playpen,” excerpt from _The Shattered Lantern_ by Ron Rohlheiser
“The mother who stays at home with small children experiences a very real withdrawal from the world. Her existence is certainly monastic. Her tasks and preoccupations remove her from the centers of social life and from the centers of important power. She feels removed.

Moreover, her constant contact with young children, the mildest of the mild, gives her a privileged opportunity to be in harmony with the mild and learn empathy and unselfishness. Perhaps more so even than the monk or minister of the Gospel, she is forced, almost against her will, to mature. For years, while she is raising small children, her time is not her own, her own needs have to be put into second place, and every time she turns round some hand is reaching out demanding something. Years of this will mature most anyone.

It is because of this that she does not need, during this time, to pray for an hour a day. And it is precisely because of this that the rest of us, who do not have constant contact with young children, need to pray privately daily.

We, to a large extent, do not have to withdraw. We can often put our own needs first. We can claim some of our own time. We do not work with what is mild. Our worlds are professional, adult, cold and untender. Outside of prayer we run a tremendous risk of becoming selfish and bringing ourselves into harmony with what’s untender.

Monks and contemplative nuns withdraw from the world to try to become less selfish, more tender, and more in harmony with the mild. To achieve this they pray for long hours in solitude.

Mothers with young children are offered the identical privilege: withdrawal, solitude, the mild. But they do not need the long hours of private prayer–the demands and mildness of the very young are a functional substitute.”

and at first I thought, “I must be doing it wrong.” But then, as I though about it I realized that not only is it true, but that knowing this, reading this helps me realize what a blessing this life I have chosen, been given, is. I mean, you’ve heard a million times “children will do what you DO, not what you say” so what better way is there to teach these amazing little people (for that is who we are raising, people) selflessness, patience, kindness than to DO it for them? Do I fail? Daily. Hourly. Sometimes every minute. But then when I see the big boy scoop up the smallest girl and nuzzle her, help her, give something up for her… I realize that in my failure God has succeeded.

Struggling through my day gives me a multitude of opportunities to pray, to lean on God, to let Him help me through. And isn’t that what He wants? For us to fully depend on Him? For without HIS strength, I can do nothing. And in those prayers, He shows me my ingratitude. Not in a punitive manner, but in His sweet, loving, MERCIFUL way. That laundry? That MOUNTAIN of clothing means that my children do not go naked. Those dishes piled up and overflowing onto the kitchen counters mean we have food. Every “mundane chore, nuisance” is an opportunity for me to give thanks.

I’d heard this idea before and maybe pondered it a bit but still got bogged down in the “I’m tired of doing the same thing day after day” until I started reading Ann Voskamp‘s One Thousand Gifts and I’m only on chapter 2 and it’s changing my life. But not just my life, the lives of my children. Two chapters and I can see things differently and show my children a better way to live. A way to really live and to really experience God’s grace and love. For what better way do we learn a thing than by doing it over and over and over again? It doesn’t have to be a burden.

Join me in taking the dare, I’m jumping in late as I just discovered it but who cares – start today, right where you are!

Scroll to the bottom of this post and print the Feb List. I laminated mine and put it on the refrigerator.

I only listed 50 gifts last year – this year I’m taking the dare to list 1,000… more!

1. the sound of their laughter
2. sweet kisses from the littlest
3. R2′s joy in playing, finally, with the girls in the neighborhood
4. a refreshing walk down the hill and back up, holding hands with my girls
5. sweet sisters building a fort with lawn chairs
6. sweet sound of R3 singing worship songs
7. ketchup. in a bowl. on faces, hands and shirts – mixed with ranch.
8. my coffee pot the loving Mr. Fox bought me even though I said I only needed a cheap one
9. blood droplets on skinned knees – means we have the ability to feel and the opportunity to show love

and my kids are making a list, too!

God has been steering our family towards Thomas Jefferson Education for years now even though we had no idea. Man, I love how He does that! I started reading Leadership Education about 2 months ago and it just was so obvious that this was what our family needed to be doing. It all makes so much sense. And God’s hand is so obviously in it.

We’ve been actively DOING it for about 3 weeks now and I already see changes. Not just in my kids – as if those aren’t enough! R1 is READING on his own, voraciously, at that! R2 is reading, writing poetry and WANTS to do chores with me. And R3, well, she’s just amazing all the time.

But I’ve changed, too. (And so has Mr. Fox, maybe I can get him to blog his perspective!) Used to, if I had an appt and a sitter I’d draaaaaaaag my feet going back to pick them up. I just didn’t want to go back home and do the “mom thing.” I desperately sucked out every.last.second that I could be by myself.

Today, I had an appt. and I actually found that on the way back I was anxious to pick them up and go home. Turns out that the more quality time I spend with them (quality being the key word here) the more time I want with them. We spend hours a day piled up on the couch reading and it has done something to us. It’s gluing us back together. It’s teaching and ministering to our hearts. And it’s lovely. I want more.

God is SO good. He’s so good to me.

I did a quick google and read a bit about him in the parking lot and we talked a bit about it as the 4 of us headed into Publix. When I said the words, “black people” and “white people” while trying my best to explain what the civil rights movement was my sweet R2 looked at me and said, “What are black and white people?”

My heart soared. To her, there is no such thing, it’s absolutely absurd because everyone is different, no one is the exact same shade as anyone else and we are all the same – God’s children. I asked her what color her skin is and she said, “brown.” R1 argued that albino people are truly white and I had to concede, LOL, but we talked about how even they have different shades.

The idea that any one “color” of person would hate another “color” JUST BECAUSE OF THEIR “COLOR” was (and I quote my son here) “STUPID.” I wholeheartedly agreed and told him so.

I fail a lot at this parenting thing. I’m not as educated or witty as some but it seems as though I just might have done this one thing right. Mr. Fox and I both grew up with a lot of racial junk being demonstrated and are so thankful that God has cleared our hearts and minds of it and allowed us to model LOVE for people to our children.

I did some reading but didn’t really go anywhere with it. Then, about a month ago I took the leap and ordered Leadership Education and dove in. A friend whom I’d shared the blog with dove in before me and we were both blown away with how much sense LE makes.

R1 hated school, every day was a fight and as I watched him pout and stomp and hate his schoolwork I started to think that I’d missed something and that as crazy as the above may sound to some it might be just what I was looking for.

Fast forward to today and we have now rearranged our house so that we have a family room with book shelves full of good books and NO media. We are working on getting our morning routine ironed out, we read for at least an hour every night (in addition to at least an hour during the day) and I’m starting to freak out a little bit, LOL. Mainly because I didnt’ have a LE, man I wish I had, and that makes me doubt myself. But that’s the thing about TJEd, you go back and GET/GIVE yourself the education you need and in the process your children learn by watching you and doing it along with you.

It’s scary. It’s like nothing I’ve ever seen or known and the unknown is scary. BUT, here’s the thing. I’ve wanted (and not wanted, out of fear) to back to school for years now. I never really knew what for but more and more lately God has laid on my heart a desire to learn Hebrew, to go to a Bible college and really learn theology. So, it seems that maybe He’s lead me here not only for the sake of my kids’ education but for my own, also. And the fact that I looked at Mr. Fox the night before last and told him I wanted to get the TV out of the family room and he didn’t look at me like I was nuts, but actually said, “I think that’s a great idea” really makes me believe that God’s hand is in this – He’s put us on the same page!

No matter what, after reading up on the true origins and purposes of Public Education I can say without a doubt thatI pray my children will never step foot into a school.