I’m A Different Mom

I’ve been hashing this out with my sister and wanted to get my thoughts down. I kinda feel bad for my big kids because I’m a much better mom now with #4 than I was with them. You’re thinking “duh” I’m sure, but it’s something that has slowly dawned on me.

For instance, Seester and I met some friends for coffee one afternoon and when we headed back around 6:30 Birdie lost it in the van (like we knew she probably would). I didn’t hesitate to pull over, wrap her and walk along a strip mall until she fell asleep in hopes that when I did put her back in the van we would have a few more minutes before she freaked out again. I don’t think I would have done that with my bigs. I was so focused on getting home, doing what need to be done that I don’t think I really stopped to give them what they needed in moments like that. I am not feeling any mommy guilt, really, I did the best I knew and the fact that my girls are 22 months apart made things hard. Have I mentioned how much I’m loving this 5.5 year age gap? ;) Having big kids when you have a baby is just pure awesomesauce.

I know part of it is being older now (I was 23 when I had my first) and part is that I know she very well may be our last and I am savoring all of it (yes, even the screaming fits and night nursings) because I DO know that time truly does fly.

With my first I remember being so excited for every milestone… but now I am dreading them. New moms, relish it. Enjoy it. ALL of it. Even though it’s hard. I wish I had with all of them. There are so many little things I don’t remember.

Not Impressed with Citrus Lane

I got our second box today and maybe I’m just hard to please but again I was not impressed.

Our first box was for a 5yo girl and there were only two things in it that my DD would actually like. I mean, the memory game says 3+ and the car might be cool for a 3yo boy…

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This month I switched it to baby girl and still am not all that impressed. I guess for $15 it’s ok but the only thing I actually like is the lovey.

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I find it really irritating that a coupon code for a free card is counted as one of the items.

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Even at the discounted $15 I’ll be cancelling Citrus Lane.

It Snowed…

Yesterday it snowed. Usually if it snows all the schools close and businesses close and everyone stays home because we know we are not equipped to deal with snow. The forecast called for “possible flurries” so when I headed out to my OB appt at 10:20 I just assumed those flurries I saw weren’t going to stick and would most likely peter out before we even got back home.

I left the OB’s office at 11:07, got home at 3 – y’all I live 5 MILES from the OB’s office! I got halfway home and the road was closed – had to backtrack and go around. We sat in traffic for hours. Barely moving. We were all hungry and had to pee. I had no water and 2 snacks with me. Cars were in ditches, people were walking. Then about .3 miles from my house the hill was impassable and I had to leave my van and walk up a steep hill through the woods practically dragging my 5yo so she wouldn’t fall to get home. I hadn’t peed in THREE AND A HALF hours, nor had any food or water. I stepped in a hole and fell because we were climbing up a ravine to avoid walking on the dangerous road – I felt like I was in a horror movie, trying to watch my step and keep an eye on all three kids. It was scary. Did I mention I am 38 weeks pregnant? :)

Schools were cancelled and so were buses so the roads were flooded with first-time snow drivers trying to get their kids. Do you see where this is going? Kids had to sleep at school and hundreds of people slept in their cars because you can’t drive up a hill or mountain in AL in the snow and the roads are jammed with accidents and abandoned vehicles.

It was not a good day and even today I still feel raw from the stress. Tomorrow it’s finally supposed to get above freezing so the snow/ice will melt and then maybe I can go and get my van.

Hindsight

Reading posts of first-and-second-time moms trying to sleep (and otherwise) train their children has left me with the following thoughts:

It’s true, there is no one “right” way to parent. But as a mom of 3 (soon to be 4) I can honestly say that there is a right way for each child. Some babies won’t STTN until they are 4 and some will do it at 6 weeks and it’s not our job to force them to be someone they are not. It’s our job to see them as the people God created them to be and respond accordingly. Each of my children is so different and needed different things from me. It can be hard because of societal norms and the way we were raised and the endless sea of voices all around us saying otherwise but it is IMPERATIVE that we see and treat our children as PEOPLE. People deserving of respect and consideration. We are not raising children, we are raising adults and the way we raise them determines who they are, how they treat others… how they treat us. If we can’t be bothered to set aside our needs in order to meet theirs, we can’t expect them to ever set aside their needs to meet the needs of others — something that, to me, is so incredibly important to know how to do. Jesus compels us to do so.

Looking back, I see that as a first time mom I felt the need to control my son, to make sure I did things “right” and as a result I lost the notion that I was supposed to have a relationship with him. There are SO.MANY things I will do differently this time. The biggest one is to remember that this time is SO SHORT. As a mom of a 10, 7 and 5yo I have hindsight. It REALLY is a short, short time that is full of so much to be savored and embraced. I won’t fight so hard this time.

Someone once gave me this illustration and I find it helpful. If you think of your child’s life, 80 years, as 80 inches… it’s easy to see that the time we have with them in our homes is incredibly short, though it may feel like it drags on forever. Those older moms who tell us to “cherish it” while we’re complaining of how hard it is? They’re the ones who also have hindsight, who look back and wish they could have known then how short that time really is.

Being a mom is hard, there’s no doubt about that. But I find that we, as the mom, often make it MUCH harder than it has to be. Why not take the easy route? The one that allows both mom AND baby to meet their needs? Whether that be comfort nursing, co-sleeping – whatever, we need to let go of the notion that meeting our baby’s needs now will cause issues later – because, REALLY, meeting someone’s needs NEVER results in a problem. We don’t NEED to know WHY they need it, all we need to know is that they need it and we can give it to them.

We need to utilize our resources, admit when we need help and reach out to each other. This, IMO, is one of the BIGGEST causes of distress for moms. That we feel we need to make everyone think we have it all together – sometimes I think God made motherhood difficult so we would HAVE to lean on each other.

I Like to Do Things Backwards…

We’re moving to FL! ROFL

After lots of prayer and discussion, Mr. Fox applied for a job in FL (Panhandle). We both really felt that God wanted us to do this so when he was offered the position he took it. He’s staying with my mom and her husband and working 10 hour days so he can be home on the weekend (3.5 hour drive) to work on the house (which was MUCH further from sell-ready than we realized). It’s been an adventure, for sure. In fact, he just had his 90-day review and we haven’t even listed the house yet!

I really didn’t think it would take this long but I’ve realized that God’s theme in this is “Trust me, I’ve got this.” And He knows us SO well! LOL

We’re close. Praying we’ll be listing by next weekend. For a few weeks there something went wrong every weekend when Mr. Fox came home and it just added to our list. But we’ve finally finished the basement (WOOT!) and have learned so many lessons (mainly that when you reap laziness you sow lots of work! LOL ) and what not to do in the future. :)

We miss him terribly during the week but know it’s only for a short time. The kids are excited and sad, as am I. I will miss my friends (family, really) here terribly and the idea of having a newborn without these wonderful people around me scares the crap out of me. But I have to trust in God’s plan for us. He’s got this.

PreK Craftiness

Somehow while blog-hopping today I came upon this post about index cards and thought, “Ooh! That would be great for R3!” and so I made these:

I made them self-checking by putting the small number or dots on the back/bottom in gray. It’s a matching game, she’ll lay out the stickered cards and try to match them to their word/number card.

So, after that I made these pattern cards for her to use with our foam cylinder blocks:

So that sent me googling to see what else I could do with index cards and I found this but wanted to make it reusable so I used a dry-erase marker and made pages (we have a TON of scrap paper, I never throw it away) that can be swapped out instead of just writing the letters.

Ries is going to be thrilled tomorrow!

Vyvanse vs Adderall

My Dr tells me that “most of my patients are maxed out at 30mg of Vyvanse” and when I tell this to my friend she says, “I’m sure your doctor is great but she’s wrong.”

So I start to search – and since I’m searching I figure I’ll post it in case it helps others:

Research studies compared the dosing of Vyvanse with Adderall XR. What this research showed was the following:

Vyvanse 30 mg = Adderall XR 10 mg
Vyvanse 50 mg = Adderall XR 20 mg
Vyvanse 70 mg = Adderall XR 30 mg

The recommendations for the starting doses of Vyvanse are as follows: Doctors should start Vyvanse at 30 mg, and then gradually increase the dose to 50 mg, and then up to 70 mg if needed. Of course the doctor would monitor response to the medicine (i.e. if there is a great response and ADHD is controlled at 50 mg, then there is no need for 70 mg of Vyvanse). The doctor will also monitor for side effects – i.e. if there are too many side effects at 70 mg, then the dose may need to be dropped to 50 mg of Vyvanse.

The importance of the ‘conversion’ dosing listed above relates to those people who may switch from one stimulant medicine to Vyvanse. Using the information above, you can figure out how to change your dose of Adderall XR to Vyvanse.
Dr. Kenny Handelman

http://www.addadhdblog.com/vyvanse-dosage-how-to-get-the-right-dose/#8b183

If a patient previously used adderall to treat his/her ADHD and is planning to switch to vyvanse, the right conversions should be followed. A 10 mg dosage of adderall can be replaced by a 30 mg of vyvanse. 20mg of adderall can be converted to 50mg of vyvanse and finally a 30 mg of adderall will be for 70mg of vyvanse.

http://vyvanse-sideeffects.com/the-importance-of-the-right-vyvanse-dosage/

The ‘net is full of this info. and it’s frustrating that our doctors don’t seem to be up-to-date on it. I’m seeing my doc tomorrow with this info hoping she’ll up my dosage.

Educating My Mind

One of the basic tenets of Thomas Jefferson Education is “you, not them,” meaning that you are to go back and figure out where your own classical education is lacking and start there, educating yourself. Your children come alongside and learn with you at their own page. Their education is their own. (There are TONS of great tenets of TJEd and it really is more of a lifestyle than a “curriculum” – we’ve only implemented a few and already our family is much stronger).

My education is very much lacking. My public school experience was not one in which I really learned anything worth knowing. I memorized facts to pass a test but I never learned anything. I had no idea history was interesting until I started using Story of the World with my kids – and I find it fascinating.

I recently purchased The Well-Educated Mind as a resource to help me get a better education and have not been disappointed. This book is so helpful. Susan gets into the why and the how and goes so far as to give lists of books in each genre (in chronological order, as they should be read to really get the most of them) for you to start with, right down to the ISBN’s of the versions that she feels are best and why.

I can’t wait until the first book, Don Quixote, arrives on Saturday!

What We’re Reading April 24, 2012

I need to check out some new books but this is what we have right now:

Cat and Rat : the legend of the Chinese zodiac
The Cheshire Cheese cat : a Dickens of a tale
The golden age of pirates : an interactive history adventure
Leif the Lucky
The time traveler’s guide to medieval England : a handbook for visitors to the fourteenth century
Don’t let the pigeon stay up late!
Knuffle Bunny : a cautionary tale
Pigeon finds a hot dog!
Famous men of the middle ages : [history for the thoughtful child
Days of the knights : a tale of castles and battles
Good masters! Sweet Ladies! : voices from a medieval village
Knight
Knights
On board the Titanic : what it was like when the great liner sank
A samurai castle
Sir Cumference and the sword in the cone – these are the best math books!!

I’m almost finished with “Deconstructing penguins : parents, kids, and the bond of reading” – it’s amazing, I’m going to have to buy my own copy, I can see. :)

I finished Anne of Green Gables and Anne of Avonlea and am now reading Anne of the Island – loving these books!

Our family read-aloud right now is Charlotte’s Web, we’re over half way through it and are making lapbooks I got from Confessions (she’s got unit studies for 10 different books, you should hop over and check it out).

I ordered The Well-Educated Mind and Little Britches from Amazon yesterday and thanks to prime they’ll be here tomorrow – I can’t wait! Some friends and I are starting a monthly book club and Little Britches is our first book. If you are local and wanna join us shoot me an email!

Time for a Change

Mr. Fox has agreed to give hard-core Paleo a go with me. We have been 80% or so but never really committed to it. Last week we did. We’re still having a cup of sweet tea and I still have cream/sugar in my coffee so we’re working slowly to get rid of those. BUT we’ve not had any wheat, nor any grains, really.

I’m exercising and keeping track of what I do/eat here. I know it doesn’t seem like much but this fat girl is working her butt off (hopefully literally.)

Yesterday:

warm up with jogging/knee lifts in place
25 jumping jacks
50 push presses with a small bar (all I could find)
more jogging in place
a few minutes of leg kicks with punches
15 jumping jacks
25 push presses
more leg kicks
walk down the hill and back
and then I walked around the driveway until my heart rate came down

Food:

Breakfast: smoothie (banana, walnuts, hemp powder, dates, almond milk)
Lunch: egg salad with the last of the GF crackers
Dinner: burger salad

Today:

I walked up the hill and back.
10 sit ups
5 burpees
3 pushups
5 stepping box jumps on the steps out back
10 box jumps (jumping on the smallest step)
10 more sit ups
5 burpees
then I walked the steps for 10 on each leg
10 wall pushups

Breakfast: coffee, sausage
Lunch:
Dinner: