Family « Love Me As I Am

God Answers Freak-Outs

By Christi, on January 5th, 2012

Well, last night I had a mini-freak out (which, after posting to the TJEd-Muse group, turns out to be perfectly normal) and so today, God took the opportunity to once again reassure me that I am doing the right thing.

This morning I told the kids about our new morning routine and how it was going to go. R2 was begging to read to me from her Fancy Nancy reader from the second she got up but I told her she had to wait til we got to that part of the morning. Anyway. I read from the Bible, read our Bible story and we said the pledge. Then I let each kid pick a book from the stack of books I got from the library yesterday. After I read those I told the kids that I was going to listen to R2 read. Last night I brought up some things from the school room downstairs for the girls to do during reading (quiet things like dry erase board, crayons, coloring books, stickers, foam shapes w/cards, etc). Ry has no problem just sitting and listening but the girls can’t be still, yk? Anyway, while R2 was reading to me R3 took to coloring and R1 grabbed the dry erase board (I was totally expecting doodles or pictures) and he WROTE A POEM!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! Y’all, this is the kid who LOATHES writing ANYthing. He hates it, and it’s always been a battle to get him to write and here he is writing on his own, a poem, no less.

Wanna hear it?

I have a cat
his name is mat
he likes to nap
and read a map and rap, do the tap!!!

I’ve been beating myself up a bit because we’ve really not done any school the last 2 months or so – turns out that was God ’cause it’s been the perfect detox for my boy.

I got another surprise last night. I started reading Anne of Green Gables to the kids. After one chapter the girls told me they didn’t like it – I was expecting the same from Ry but he said he DID like it and wanted to keep reading it. So I started another book for family reading and will continue to read Anne to him, since I want to read it, too.

I’m sure I will have many more freak outs – public school conditioned me towards instant gratification so I still have to work on that.

Changing It All Up

By Christi, on January 4th, 2012

Back in November I came across this blog post about Leadership Education and it resonated with me SO deeply. One of the main reasons I HS is because I don’t want my children’s core to be influenced by people who don’t believe as we do. I firmly believe that I can’t raise my child to know what I believe, behave the way the Bible commands and be the light if they are spending 3/4 of their time under the influence of others. If I want to teach them these things they need to be with me more than anyone else. I mean, what does it matter how smart/schooled you are if you SUCK as a person?

I did some reading but didn’t really go anywhere with it. Then, about a month ago I took the leap and ordered Leadership Education and dove in. A friend whom I’d shared the blog with dove in before me and we were both blown away with how much sense LE makes.

R1 hated school, every day was a fight and as I watched him pout and stomp and hate his schoolwork I started to think that I’d missed something and that as crazy as the above may sound to some it might be just what I was looking for.

Fast forward to today and we have now rearranged our house so that we have a family room with book shelves full of good books and NO media. We are working on getting our morning routine ironed out, we read for at least an hour every night (in addition to at least an hour during the day) and I’m starting to freak out a little bit, LOL. Mainly because I didnt’ have a LE, man I wish I had, and that makes me doubt myself. But that’s the thing about TJEd, you go back and GET/GIVE yourself the education you need and in the process your children learn by watching you and doing it along with you.

It’s scary. It’s like nothing I’ve ever seen or known and the unknown is scary. BUT, here’s the thing. I’ve wanted (and not wanted, out of fear) to back to school for years now. I never really knew what for but more and more lately God has laid on my heart a desire to learn Hebrew, to go to a Bible college and really learn theology. So, it seems that maybe He’s lead me here not only for the sake of my kids’ education but for my own, also. And the fact that I looked at Mr. Fox the night before last and told him I wanted to get the TV out of the family room and he didn’t look at me like I was nuts, but actually said, “I think that’s a great idea” really makes me believe that God’s hand is in this – He’s put us on the same page!

No matter what, after reading up on the true origins and purposes of Public Education I can say without a doubt thatI pray my children will never step foot into a school.

Funnies Take 1,345

By Christi, on December 26th, 2011

Chris told R3 he was going to start calling her cupcake. Later that day when I called her that she said, “NO! Call me Coffee cup heart with pie and a strawberry on top” – methinks she doesnt understand the purpose of a nickname.

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LMBO R3 just put a bracelet on Chris and then yanked it off and said, “Hey, you’re a boy not a girl, who gave you that bracelet?”

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R2 has had a loose tooth (bottom front right, the perm one is already in behind it!) for a couple weeks. Well, today she finally yanked it out and then ran thru the house yelling, “I’m gonna get a hundred bucks!” R1 quickly informed her that she was not.

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Meal Plan Dec 18 – Christmas

By Christi, on December 17th, 2011

Cheeseburger Soup
Veggie Pancakes
Chili
Beef Stew

Raising an Angry Boy

By Christi, on December 9th, 2011

When R1 was little (3 – I was pg with R2) I had some great counseling sessions with another mom, a PRO at Gentle Discipline. I just found this document where I had taken notes from one of our phone sessions and wanted to share it to help others and to help remind me of the tools to have in my box.

Well if his anger is showing itself in a need to throw, create an *acceptable* throwing opportunity. Beanbags into a corner with mom right there to keep him focused that way is a good one. So are “soft
ball” wars if you’re into that. My oldest & I would go into his room (where there was nothing breakable) and get out 10 soft-stuffed balls & totally go at it – throwing them at eachother in mock-battle. We’d
start grumpy & finish up laughing our butts off I’d shelter the baby behind me – he’d watch & coo

Getting into the bath & having a splash fight can also satisfy that need to feel like he’s throwing. Water is also often intrinsically calming to intense children, so that helps, too.

Keep in mind that *just* kicking, stomping and throwing is a blessing – many children this age go straight for you, fists swinging! Your goal is to keep safe boundaries (no hurting others, self or property) and
help him release his anger, and gradually (over several years) guide him toward acceptable outlets. One step at a time.

Other outlets:
~Drawing an angry picture (sit & draw with him – make your picture mad too )

~Punching a pillow, the bed, or “air punching”

~Naming the feelings – you can help him – “You’re *really* mad! Can you yell, “Mommie I’m sooooo maaaaaaad!” Get into it – it will help him have permisisson to name scary feelings. Afterall, being mad at mommie *is* scary – and if he knows you aren’t scared of it, he’ll deal with it better.

~Stomping someplace quieter – on the bed. This usually turns into jumping

~Kicking pillows – on the bed is pretty safe. This might turn into some good falling down & attacking the bed, too.

~Name and reflect – Tell him what you see & what emotion it shows. Many many children don’t pick up what the names are for feelings that intense – they just know they feel out of conctrol & it’s scary. Naming the feelings gives them a sense of control, and they realize that you accept them *even* when they are mad. That takes a lot of the anger out of them. “You look really mad – I can tell because you’re stomping and yelling! Mom wouldn’t let you have X and you’re maaaaaad about it!”

~Give him a “scale” of comparison for his mad – this also gives him a sense of control. “Wow are you mad! Are you *this* mad? (hold your hands apart) Or THIS mad? (hold them further)”

~Give him in fantasy what he can’t have in reality. “You want that toy sooooo bad. If you had it, you’d play with it forever. It’s hard not to have it! What would you do with it if it didn’t have to stay in the
store?”

~With children who see humor everywhere in the world, you can help them control their anger with making it playful. This only works if you’re not afraid of their anger & *truly* honor it!!!! If you’re playful to
try to get them not to be mad – it won’t work But if you’re playful to give them an outlet, many children really grab onto that. “Wow, is that the loudest you can yell?? I bet tigers roar louder! (mom roars
like a tiger) Ha! I’m a loud tiger!” Many children love to do some one-ups-manship of this kind. How big is your anger? How loud can you yell? How far can you throw? How high can you jump? How big can you
stomp?

~Fantasy Revenge! When my boys were 3.5 and 6 we had about a year where we’d get into gross-out one-ups-manship. One of them would start to rage, and I’d jump right in with, “You’re so mad you want me to DIE???? OH NO!!!! Would you toss me off the top of a skyscraper? Would I go SPLAT? Would my eyeballs kersplooooode?????” They LOVED it!

The fact that I wasn’t afraid of their fantasy “revenge” on mom’s strong boundaries & high standards and the fact that I’d out do their imaginations cracked them up! It also bonded us – I was “imagining
myself a little boy” – and they felt that I understood and respected their fantasy life. More importantly, though, it gave them permission to act out their anger in fantasy however they wanted to, and permission
to be truly angry and know that mom could handle it, and that *they* could handle it. And my boundary or high standard expectation remained – I didn’t give in, and the strong feelings were diffused.

Advent Day 6

By Christi, on December 6th, 2011

I’m doing this each morning with the kids. I had to record their answers to the last question.

R3: because if we die who will save us?

R1: because otherwise we wouldn’t be here

R2 Rhymes

By Christi, on November 27th, 2011

She came up to me and started whispering these little rhymes she was making up – I had to get them down.

I said this too soon
or maybe in a while
but I saw an elephant
eat a crocodile.

A crock ate a mile
from a crocodile.

A fast crow has no toes.

Going to the Zoo

By Christi, on October 13th, 2011

We went to the Zoo, it’s been a really long time! Here are the highlights:

First column is pretty obvious. Second column, first pic – R1 says these are “rock star” monkeys / under that is the baby lion cubs / then R3 determined to pet EVERY goat in the petting area / and R3 wanting so badly to pet that rooster!.

Third column: R1 pretending to be Scooby Doo / R1 and then R2 feeding the lorikeets.

Fourth column: R3 feeding them “Look, I’m not even freaking out!” she said. And then the girls pretending to be captured by the monster.